What am I really doing?

As a student of the Sweet Medicine Sundance Path I read a fair amount. Recently I read an article in which there was a story. This story made me pause and consider: What am I really doing?

The story is: 
"In 2002 at fourteen years of age, William Kamkwamba could not return to school because of extended drought and impoverishment in hes small village in Malawi, Africa.  Discouraged but not defeated, this entrepreneurial boy continued his education in the local library whenever his chores permitted.  Some spark of hope prompted him to dream about using ideas he read about to solve problems for his family and village.  He began collecting scrap plastic, bicycle and machinerey parts, and scouring the dump for all sorts of odd pieces of junk..
    As the villagers scoffed, his contraption grew into a sixteen-foot high curiosity - which he called his 'juju' or magic.  Ridicule turned to amazement when he was able to power a light bulb from the power generated by his improvised windmill.  From this humble beginning, his project grew to power all the needs for his family's meager household and to pump precious water for his and other families' needs.  Following the law of attraction, the more successful he was with his project, the more visitors and benefactors contributed to help his efforts.  Now at twenty-three, Mr. Kankwamba has collaborated with journalist Bryan Mealer for the 2009 publication of his story, titled The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind,  and has traveled extensively for speaking engagements.  He is continuing his education through a number of unique opportunities,."  (Quest - Spring 2010, pg. 48)


I found my self considering the following:
First:
    How much of the 'knowledge' I have been gathering am I using?
Then:
    Do I let 'hardship' stop my learning and use of that learning?
    Do I seek knowledge anywhere it can be found?
    What is my spark of hope?
    Why do I think that I am to busy to put the knowledge to work in such a way that it is visible to others?
    Do I fear ridicule if I put the beginnings of my 'juju' out there, before I feel it is productive?
    Do I truly desire to help self, life, others in a productive way?
    Do I continue to learn via unique opportunities?




I have learned much and I do use some of it, but I recognize that I avoid using some of it, not because I don't see benefits in applying them, but because I resist the change they will bring.




So why do I continue to study this path as taught through the Deer Tribe Metis Medicine Society? Why, because what I have applied works.  I have found the practices and knowledge that I have learned to be very beneficial for me.  It works and change can be scary.  Perhaps I need to more actively remember one lesson I learned during a 7 day ceremony: "The unfamiliar is only unfamiliar once, so just do it."

Walk in Beauty,


Marie